Work with Me A Parental Systems Approach Kids crave basic experiences of love, affection, and validation from their parents. There are many reasons that these basic needs are not met. When they go unmet, kids will begin to excuse their parents, take the blame on themselves, and learn to deny their own emotions and needs in an attempt to cope. These patterns continue into adulthood resulting in repeating patterns of dysfunctional relationships, low self-esteem, and